"F**ker"

A typical rite of passage into adulthood is often the ability to swear/curse without repercussion. My daughter has skipped puberty and has lauched herself directly into adulthood at the tender age of 7.

Apparently, she was trying to say two different words while talking on the bus, and "Fucker" came out. Older brother got wind of the potential punishment factor, and ran straight off the bus to his father to inform him that his sister needed to be punished for skipping puberty and becoming an adult. Oh yeah, and for saying the "F-word with 'er' on the end of it". No, my son did not repeat the forbidden utterance, he worded it carefully so he could avoid growing up and having to obtain employment. His sister, on the other hand, came clean (while sobbing):

"I was on the bus today and I was talking to so-and-so and I was trying to tell them something and I don't know what happened but I said FUCKER and T (older brother) and his friend heard me and they said they were going to tell on me and I'm so sorry mommy I didn't mean to say FUCKER, it just came out of my mouth. I wasn't trying to say FUCKER mom, I really wasn't, I promise. Please don't be mad that I said that word mom, that word FUCKER!"

In case you were counting (as I was while hearing this), she did, in fact, drop the F-bomb with 'er' on the end of it at least four times in that breathless sob-filled paragraph. Half of me is debating on whether or not she meant to say it simply because she was sobbing while recounting her brush with adulthood. The other half is screaming, "She's pulling a fast one! She said the dreaded word FOUR FLIPPING TIMES while telling you about it! She looooooves that she can say it now and KNOWS that she's not getting into trouble!"

Fortunately for her, I did not feel compelled, what with her sudden adult-like actions, to boot her from the house for her wretchedness. O - no. I had to keep from laughing and/or smiling and put on my best stern-mama face and tell her under no circumstances, even in the course of repeating that story, should she use that word ever again.

No, mama isn't mad. Mama is sitting her wondering how many times she calls people that name while in earshot of her kids. This HAS to be my fault. Damn. I was so looking forward to that Mother-of-the-Year award.