Irritants

Shirts inside of shirts. WHAT.IS.THE.DAMN.ISSUE????? Is the actual 2.5 seconds it takes to separate the clothes actually considered a waste of time? Why is this annoying habit seemingly an inherited trait? Did you train the boy to do it too, just to see what I would do?

Teachers who yell at my daughter to "stop limping" when she has a 3-inch long section of MULTIPLE layers of skin, missing from the bottom of her foot. You teach, therefore, you should be able to approximate the length of this gash (if you cannot approximate, think roughly along the lines of the length of a deck of playing cards). Because you teach, you should also be able to empathize with this child, knowing that such a gash, should it be placed on the bottom of your foot, will likely hurt like hell. If you absolutely are unable to imagine such a mishap befalling one such as yourself, please, come over to my house. I will gladly take my potato peeler to the bottom of your foot.

Dudes that like to look all "tough and shit", swinging their arms and screaming obscenities at their girlfriends while I'm peacefully driving by. Do you think after I honk my horn at you that I'm NOT going to stop 100 feet down the road when I see a police cruiser and tell them what your punk ass is up to? Oh yeah, and that was your kid in the car I presume? Nice example you're setting...ass hat.

Teenage employees at KFC talking to their friends in the middle of a busy time. No, I don't care if you chat it up with your friends. Yes, I do care if you discuss who you're sleeping with in a CROWDED restaurant. I was most impressed with the fact that you were able to make a sentence by stringing together the f-bomb (17 times) and some other small words and form a semi-coherent sentence. The nice 97 year old lady in front of me appreciated too...she started having a mild stroke after the 50th time you said what you did to that poor boy in the back of his car. I almost forgot to mention, all of the parents in the room that were oh-so-relieved that they didn't have to have the birds and the bees discussion with their children thanks to the way you so delicately described the act of sex for everyone to hear. Well done. You are marked for greatness my dear. In fact, you SO deserve a raise.

Laundry multiplies exponentially, yet socks seem to vanish at the exact moment I need to pack 8 pairs for my son's trip the very next day. Whoever thought this one up is extremely clever. I'd like to meet them...for a blanket party. I will bring the LEFTOVER socks that DO NOT HAVE A MATCH and fill them with the itty bitty chunks of bar soap that everyone usually leaves in the shower for me to pick up and replace with a full bar of soap. That oughta leave a mark, don't you agree?