An Interview by (a) Crazy Lady (in Vegas, of course)

So, Kari (a.k.a Crazy Lady in Vegas) was doing this interview thing, wherein her friends asked her a bunch of questions, she answered them and posted them on her blog. I jumped in and wanted to play. She emailed me some questions to answer, and I started to...I really did, and them the life got sucked right out of me by some unforeseen events (surprise b-day party for my husband that I waited to the last minute to prepare for AND plan). Alas, I now have some time, so without further adieu, I bring you my interview with Kari!!!

How long was it from ‘the first date’ until the proposal of marriage?

It took my husband a mere three years to realize that he had, in fact, landed a gem. I mean, those less-than-stellar cooking skills! OH MY! The fact that the gene we like to call “domestic goddess” was totally bypassed on this one! WOW!!!

Don’t let him fool you, he knows he scored big with me.

What was your most embarrassing moment?

In general? My life is a constantly occurring embarrassing moment – I liken it to a freakish Merry-Go-Round. But, if I can only choose one…

The time I took my then 3 year old son into the bathroom with me at Sears so I could pee. As I was hovering over the toilet (you all know what hovering is), my son leaned over sideways and looked at me all confused before exclaiming, “MOM! YOU PEEING OUT YOU BUTTHOLE”. The snickering was endless from all stalls. I couldn’t wash my hands fast enough.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

This one is tough. Some days, I really want to go back to Montana (it’s so CLEAN compared to a lot of places). Others, I don’t ever want to move…I just wish for the ability and money to travel anywhere, whenever I want to (oh, and the ability to leave the kids, whenever).

What do you do when you are feeling creative?

Sadly, most times, I attempt to clean the bottomless pit of despair we like to call home. Other times, I give my best shot at knitting scarves (two currently in progress) and making jewelry.

Its time to cook dinner for some VIP – What do you fix?

Macaroni et fromage – that’s French for “This is all I know how to cook. Suck it up and eat already.” It’s a very famous dish, I swear.

Breaking News

NEW HAMPSHIRE – A brazen attack on a home here has authorities calling for a nationwide manhunt for the “Backwards Burglar”.

“I’ve never seen anything like this.” says Lead Investigator House Izzawickeddirty, “The perpetrator actually added stuff to this room with little to no concern as to what it would do to the child’s mother!”

Exhibit A - The Room

An apparently invisible burglar wore nearly every article of clothing and left it all in a heap on the child’s floor. “This is shocking to me, especially since I JUST DID HER LAUNDRY TWO DAYS AGO and I was assured by her that I had gotten it all!” cried the mother, who wishes to remain anonymous. In a bizarre turn of events, the burglar also crammed what authorities are referring to as “mountains of crapola” into the girl’s room AND into the mother’s craft room next door. “I just don’t know how we’ll recover!” the mother sobbed when speaking to reporters “I mean, I can’t possibly catch up on all this housework!”

Exhibit B - Some of the laundry in question

Exhibit C - More of the questionable laundry

Exhibit D - The Craft Room

Authorities are mum on what they believe to be the motive behind this unusual attack. "You don't typically see this type of job 'round these parts." says Izzawickeddirty "Usually, the crooks TAKE stuff away, they don't leave more. I'm just outright befuddled how something like this could've happened."

When questioned, the little girl whose room was attacked stated simply “I don’t know how it got this way…coulda been my brother, but then, it coulda been the aliens too…I just don’t know."

Exhibit E - The child

Even with little information from the child, authorities are confident they will catch their kid man. “We have our leads.” says Investigator Izzawickeddirty, “The crook left handprints on the windows and all down the stairwell. We’ll catch him!”

Exhibit F - Finger/handprints of the perpetrator(s)


Exhibit G - More prints left on the walls by the crook(s)

Anyone with information, or ideas on how to prevent this type of crime from ever occurring again is asked to call the House Crimes Hotline at 1-800-CLEANUP.