Thursday, September 20, 2007
For Tanner...
Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored is raffling off some VERY cool, VERY hot (as in mistakenly stolen) items to raise money for a very special little man named Tanner - the nephew of Her Bad Mother. Please pay her a visit, steal a duck button for your own blog (like the one I have to the right) and help raise money for a great cause!
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Sarcasm = Bad Mommy
One day last year, my daughter was acting as though she had been raised by a pack of beagles. She was loud, out of control and in general, all over the map. I looked over at her, rolled my eyes and said, "Child, you need to be medicated." She giggled, I smiled and she was distracted enough to calm down.
I dismissed ever saying that because in our house, sarcasm rules. If you were a stranger sitting in our kitchen and heard the conversations, you might be shocked and wonder why my husband and I ever got married (and procreated, for that matter). If you were a friend, you would laugh, because that's who we are.
If you are my daughter's teacher, you call me up to ask what particular medication my daughter needs to be on, and "why hasn't the school been notified that she needs to be medicated?"
HOLY CRAP. Try being the mom on that particular parental gem and tell me how you feel afterwards. When I heard the teacher ask me "why, why, why," I was stunned. It took me forever to figure out what on earth she was talking about. I asked her if she was sure she was calling the right parent. Her response? "Well, she was acting up a bit in class, which was unusual for her, so I asked her what was wrong with her. She looked at me and said that her mother told her she needed medication."
I had to explain to this teacher that I had made that particular comment on a particularly LOUD and UNRULY day for my daughter (who DOESN'T have a kid with days like that?), and while I shouldn't have said it, I truly didn't mean it - it was simply a flip remark. Nothing more.
"Well, here at this school, we don't joke about matters like this, we take them VERY seriously."
I wonder what they would have said if I had ever made the comment, "what are you smoking?" to my kids...which I haven't, and I swear I won't... ever. Well, at least not until they are 18, out of my house and can be held fully responsible in a court of law for anything they do. Because then? It won't make me look any worse as a mother than I did to that one teacher, that one day.
I dismissed ever saying that because in our house, sarcasm rules. If you were a stranger sitting in our kitchen and heard the conversations, you might be shocked and wonder why my husband and I ever got married (and procreated, for that matter). If you were a friend, you would laugh, because that's who we are.
If you are my daughter's teacher, you call me up to ask what particular medication my daughter needs to be on, and "why hasn't the school been notified that she needs to be medicated?"
HOLY CRAP. Try being the mom on that particular parental gem and tell me how you feel afterwards. When I heard the teacher ask me "why, why, why," I was stunned. It took me forever to figure out what on earth she was talking about. I asked her if she was sure she was calling the right parent. Her response? "Well, she was acting up a bit in class, which was unusual for her, so I asked her what was wrong with her. She looked at me and said that her mother told her she needed medication."
I had to explain to this teacher that I had made that particular comment on a particularly LOUD and UNRULY day for my daughter (who DOESN'T have a kid with days like that?), and while I shouldn't have said it, I truly didn't mean it - it was simply a flip remark. Nothing more.
"Well, here at this school, we don't joke about matters like this, we take them VERY seriously."
I wonder what they would have said if I had ever made the comment, "what are you smoking?" to my kids...which I haven't, and I swear I won't... ever. Well, at least not until they are 18, out of my house and can be held fully responsible in a court of law for anything they do. Because then? It won't make me look any worse as a mother than I did to that one teacher, that one day.
Saturday, September 08, 2007
How was your summer?
Mine was good. It dragged on and on endlessly like a professor I once had in college. I swear I could her the wind uttering "ummmmmm......" every day, just like he did. The only difference was back then, it put me to sleep (did I mention I sat in the front row?). This summer, it edged up my blood pressure.
We tried to do some fun things with the kids. We took them to an amusement park that was probably 1/25th the size of Disney, but the lines were nearly unbearable. I still think they had fun. Especially since one of them walked out of the park with a weiner hat, courtesy of their Dad. What kid's life isn't immediately bettered by the purchase of a weiner hat????
We took them to a water park which was more fun than I thought it would be. I went on one ride that should have been called "pee in your suit & puke at the end" because that is precisely what I felt like doing when it was over. The kids, they LOVED it.
Mostly though, what the kids did for fun was pepper me with questions (ALL.DAY.LONG) and fight with each other. "She knocked the sandwich out of my hand - and the doooooggggg ate it!". "He hit me in the head with a pillow and my eyyyyyyyyyeeeee hurtsssss!!!".
I can tell you there were many more days of fighting back and forth than there were of pure enjoyment. Wait, maybe they enjoyed the fighting? Or, maybe they enjoyed seeing my eyes bulge out of my head whenever they would sneak up on me and start tattling on each other. Yes, I think that's it. I couldn't ever find one location anywhere where I could get just five minutes of quiet. If I walked outside, there was always a child right behind me. If I was in the bathroom, there was a child knocking at the door.
I know, I know. It's called Stay-At-Home-Mom for a reason. Be a mom, right? I tried, I promise you I did. I think we all have those days that make us want to run screaming from the house. It just so happens that I had a LOT of those this past summer.
Now they are back in school (hooray!). And the only word I can come up with is this: bliss. It's been lovely. I have knitted like I have never knitted before (crooked scarves are IN, right?). I have nearly caught up on my laundry. I was on top of the dishes (until the kids made brownies using 17 different kitchen utensils, 2 pans, and 3 bowls - Betty Crocker, they are not). It is just so nice to have the house to myself. Multiple televisions are not screaming out Hannah Montana, World War III isn't occurring, there's no milk left on the counter, and I'm not finding wrappers all over the floor. I can get things done without having to chase anyone through the house to pick up after them.
I HEART SCHOOL. Mainly because now that they are back in school, I have my sanity back. I'm much more relaxed when they walk through the door now and I can handle their fights without feeling a coronary coming on.
And you....?
We tried to do some fun things with the kids. We took them to an amusement park that was probably 1/25th the size of Disney, but the lines were nearly unbearable. I still think they had fun. Especially since one of them walked out of the park with a weiner hat, courtesy of their Dad. What kid's life isn't immediately bettered by the purchase of a weiner hat????
We took them to a water park which was more fun than I thought it would be. I went on one ride that should have been called "pee in your suit & puke at the end" because that is precisely what I felt like doing when it was over. The kids, they LOVED it.
Mostly though, what the kids did for fun was pepper me with questions (ALL.DAY.LONG) and fight with each other. "She knocked the sandwich out of my hand - and the doooooggggg ate it!". "He hit me in the head with a pillow and my eyyyyyyyyyeeeee hurtsssss!!!".
I can tell you there were many more days of fighting back and forth than there were of pure enjoyment. Wait, maybe they enjoyed the fighting? Or, maybe they enjoyed seeing my eyes bulge out of my head whenever they would sneak up on me and start tattling on each other. Yes, I think that's it. I couldn't ever find one location anywhere where I could get just five minutes of quiet. If I walked outside, there was always a child right behind me. If I was in the bathroom, there was a child knocking at the door.
I know, I know. It's called Stay-At-Home-Mom for a reason. Be a mom, right? I tried, I promise you I did. I think we all have those days that make us want to run screaming from the house. It just so happens that I had a LOT of those this past summer.
Now they are back in school (hooray!). And the only word I can come up with is this: bliss. It's been lovely. I have knitted like I have never knitted before (crooked scarves are IN, right?). I have nearly caught up on my laundry. I was on top of the dishes (until the kids made brownies using 17 different kitchen utensils, 2 pans, and 3 bowls - Betty Crocker, they are not). It is just so nice to have the house to myself. Multiple televisions are not screaming out Hannah Montana, World War III isn't occurring, there's no milk left on the counter, and I'm not finding wrappers all over the floor. I can get things done without having to chase anyone through the house to pick up after them.
I HEART SCHOOL. Mainly because now that they are back in school, I have my sanity back. I'm much more relaxed when they walk through the door now and I can handle their fights without feeling a coronary coming on.
And you....?
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